Helma (45) zorgde tot het laatste moment voor haar zus

“Kom jij me voortaan douchen?”, vroeg Carla toen ze weer eens in het ziekenhuis lag. Ik ben meteen gegaan. Mijn vier jaar oudere zus was net als ik zelf verpleegkundige, maar ik wist welk een hekel ze er aan had door allerlei mensen verzorgd te worden. We waren altijd al vier handen op één buik, maar nadat er borstkanker bij haar was geconstateerd, is onze band alleen maar inniger geworden.

25 oktober 2013
19 reacties

Eind oktober 2003 is Carla overleden. Ze was 39 en had tweeënhalf jaar tegen de kanker gevochten. Al die tijd heb ik haar geholpen. Samen met enkele vriendinnen hebben we haar verzorging tot op het laatst in eigen hand gehouden. Na haar dood belandde ik zelf in een diep dal en het heeft een tijd geduurd voordat ik de draad van mijn eigen leven weer kon oppakken. Ik herinner me dat ik op het schoolplein van mijn kinderen rondkeek en ineens dacht: Wie zijn al die mensen? Een aantal van de andere ouders had ik nooit eerder gezien.

We waren met vier kinderen thuis, maar ik wist dat ík dit moest doen. Carla en ik waren altijd close, we hebben jaren op hetzelfde kamertje geslapen. Als we apart gingen winkelen, kwamen we vaak met dezelfde aankopen thuis. Toen we klein waren, zorgde zij voor mij. Deze keer was het mijn beurt.

In die tweeënhalf jaar is onze band alleen maar inniger geworden.

Carla deed liefst alles zelf. Op een moment dat het eigenlijk al niet meer ging, wilde ze per se nog samen met mij een cadeautje voor haar dochtertje kopen. Onderweg heeft ze wel drie keer overgegeven, pal voor de winkel ook nog een keer. Ze schaamde zich ervoor, maar ze was vastbesloten. Toen ze later een afscheidsdoosje voor de kinderen wilde maken, een doosje in de vorm van een vlinder, met een haarlok erin, parfum, foto’s en meer van dat soort dingen, heb ik spullen gekocht. Met de telefoon in de hand moest ik haar daarbij betrekken.

Nu haar twee dochters groot zijn, kan ik er met hen over praten. Ik weet dat ik hun moeder nooit kan vervangen, maar ik hoop dat ze haar daardoor toch weer een beetje beter leren kennen.

19 reacties

  • joycecolumn says:

    Hoi Helma,
    Wat bijzonder om ook eens wat van jou te lezen 😉 Moet heel heftig zijn geweest.
    Fijn dat jij er zo voor je zus kon zijn en mooi dat jij er voor haar meiden nog steeds kan zijn.
    Doe je goed! Dikke x

  • Frankie says:

    Hey hey hey, take a gadner at what’ you’ve done

  • Good to see a talent at work. I can’t match that.

  • That’s a crackerjack answer to an interesting question

  • That’s a wise answer to a tricky question

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